1996 or 1997.
Father, forgive! Help me to turn from my idolatry to You, the only true God!
I was remembering back to the time when I was coming out of my deep depression over sin, and I asked you for a sign--a rainbow at night! Foolish of me, yet I hoped! I look for that rainbow and it never appeared! Then, one day I was reading Revelation 4, especially verse 3, and Revelation 21:9-27, especially verse 23-25!
Truly, you give us more than we can possible dream or imagine! What a magnificent God you are! No, you didn't give me a rainbow at night--You gave me a rainbow that eternally shines around your throne, and better--there will be no night! Glory!
Confused and Looking for Something Important In the Wrong Place
This was not a dream, but rather, a true event.
Yesterday, 01/23/07, I was at the mall with my grandson. As we were leaving, I noticed a very stately mature woman. She was well dressed, definitely refined and probably of some means. She was walking around in a total daze—like she was lost. I was drawn to her. I went up to her and asked her if I could help. She said she was looking for an exit, and sadly, I didn’t know the mall well enough to be of much help. Suddenly, I noticed a security guard and told her he would definitely be able to help her. I turned and left. Still, I felt impressed to turn and make sure she was okay. It appeared as if she had walked right passed the guard and was still wandering around trying to find her way out of the mall. I again approached her and she said she was pretty sure she had found the exit, but she looked so confused and sad—I offered to walk with her and make sure that she made it to the door. Then, I just couldn’t stop there—I had to make sure she made it to her car. She confided in me that she had lost her husband just that past week and circumstances had somehow led her to the mall while she waited for her “pampered” poodle to be groomed. We hugged and prayed with each other and she seemed comforted and went on her way.
About 5 minutes later, I promise you, I ran into yet another lost older woman. This woman seemed to be of lesser means, a bit unkempt, but clean--presentable. This woman was wandering the in parking lot—going row to row. I knew she was lost and had no idea where her car was. I stopped and asked her what type of car she owned and she told me a white Cutlass with a marker of some sort on the back antenna—not a very good marker I must say! I drove my car, with my grandson in the rear seat and looked that area of the mall up and down—no white Cutlass with a marker on the back! In the meantime, mall security was also trying to help her. I started to leave, but noticed that the woman was still there and no security guard in sight. So, I drove my car back up to the woman and asked her if she was sure this was the right place she parked her car. She just brightened and suddenly remembered she had parked near Barnes and Noble—which, of course, was on the exact opposite side of the mall. Naturally, I offered to take her to her car. Amazingly, without any hesitation whatsoever, she got into my car and I drove her to the exact location of her car. I tried to comfort her by saying that this happened to me sometimes, too. I told her I had learned through experience to always try and park my car pretty close to the same location each and every time I came to the mall—just to make sure I would at least know the general proximity of where I parked it! She seemed very light hearted and went on her way.
Is God trying to tell me something??????
Yesterday, 01/23/07, I was at the mall with my grandson. As we were leaving, I noticed a very stately mature woman. She was well dressed, definitely refined and probably of some means. She was walking around in a total daze—like she was lost. I was drawn to her. I went up to her and asked her if I could help. She said she was looking for an exit, and sadly, I didn’t know the mall well enough to be of much help. Suddenly, I noticed a security guard and told her he would definitely be able to help her. I turned and left. Still, I felt impressed to turn and make sure she was okay. It appeared as if she had walked right passed the guard and was still wandering around trying to find her way out of the mall. I again approached her and she said she was pretty sure she had found the exit, but she looked so confused and sad—I offered to walk with her and make sure that she made it to the door. Then, I just couldn’t stop there—I had to make sure she made it to her car. She confided in me that she had lost her husband just that past week and circumstances had somehow led her to the mall while she waited for her “pampered” poodle to be groomed. We hugged and prayed with each other and she seemed comforted and went on her way.
About 5 minutes later, I promise you, I ran into yet another lost older woman. This woman seemed to be of lesser means, a bit unkempt, but clean--presentable. This woman was wandering the in parking lot—going row to row. I knew she was lost and had no idea where her car was. I stopped and asked her what type of car she owned and she told me a white Cutlass with a marker of some sort on the back antenna—not a very good marker I must say! I drove my car, with my grandson in the rear seat and looked that area of the mall up and down—no white Cutlass with a marker on the back! In the meantime, mall security was also trying to help her. I started to leave, but noticed that the woman was still there and no security guard in sight. So, I drove my car back up to the woman and asked her if she was sure this was the right place she parked her car. She just brightened and suddenly remembered she had parked near Barnes and Noble—which, of course, was on the exact opposite side of the mall. Naturally, I offered to take her to her car. Amazingly, without any hesitation whatsoever, she got into my car and I drove her to the exact location of her car. I tried to comfort her by saying that this happened to me sometimes, too. I told her I had learned through experience to always try and park my car pretty close to the same location each and every time I came to the mall—just to make sure I would at least know the general proximity of where I parked it! She seemed very light hearted and went on her way.
Is God trying to tell me something??????
Oh, dare!
04/30/2002
Lord, how I wish I had the faith of the woman who dared to touch the hem of your garment! To dare! Only a loved, trusting child, or someone who is truly desperate will dare. Too often I come to you thinking you will hear me because of my many words. I don’t even know for sure that writing in this journal isn’t all vanity. All I know is that I’m desperate for ( I was going to say Your power or Your healing touch, but Lord, I’m really desperate for You!) No one, nothing touches me like You do. Lord, I dare to touch You every time I lift my hands in praise to You, every time my soul feels like it is soaring because I am so overwhelmed by Your presence, every time You and I share a moment or you give me a new revelation of Yourself. You strengthen me, You heal my mind, soul and body. I’m in awe of You and love You more each day. Forgive me of my many sins! Have mercy, Lord. 04/30/2002
Lord, how I wish I had the faith of the woman who dared to touch the hem of your garment! To dare! Only a loved, trusting child, or someone who is truly desperate will dare. Too often I come to you thinking you will hear me because of my many words. I don’t even know for sure that writing in this journal isn’t all vanity. All I know is that I’m desperate for ( I was going to say Your power or Your healing touch, but Lord, I’m really desperate for You!) No one, nothing touches me like You do. Lord, I dare to touch You every time I lift my hands in praise to You, every time my soul feels like it is soaring because I am so overwhelmed by Your presence, every time You and I share a moment or you give me a new revelation of Yourself. You strengthen me, You heal my mind, soul and body. I’m in awe of You and love You more each day. Forgive me of my many sins! Have mercy, Lord. 04/30/2002
I Lied Today
I lied today, Lord. I opened my mouth and out the lie came. I could feel it falling off my lips. Yet, I felt incapable of stopping the lie. I think the one thing you are really asking of me right now is honesty--to walk in the truth. That means ceasing from all forms of lying—my overeating, my overspending, my talents and abilities. Yea, my inabilities! No more half truths (as if there were such a thing). I need your help, O, Lord! I have passed this sin off as being "cute"—just another aspect of the complex nature of being a woman. Forgive me. Help me to follow your Son, Who is Truth and to do your will. I don’t want to lie anymore. I want to face You as honestly as I possibly can, being human. Again, forgive me, Lord! 05/30/06
I Sought God
I sought God and found Him, oftimes in the silences, always in the joys, but I saw His face the clearest in times of deepest pain. How He would come to me; Comforter, Father, Friend. Always present, ever near. 11/09/05
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