Knowing Eyes

I suppose one of my earliest "ummhs" was when I was around 11-12 years of age.

For whatever reason, my mother and grandmother had a "falling out". Bless her heart, Mom could hold a grudge--no doubt. I believe the estrangement was the result of simple jeaslousy of my grandmother's relationship with my step-grandfather. Dear man, what I remember of him. Grandma loved him dearly! I remember when she was close to death she was naturally concerned about facing God. She told us she was sorry for sinning (she was widowed, but granddad had a living wife), but she could never say she was sorry for loving my grandfather.

Anyway, this "falling out" had lasted quite a while, a year or years, I was too young to remember. As any daughter trying to please and warm up to her mother, I took up the grudge too, even though I loved my grandmother and had no real idea what this was all about. Just that mom was mad and not speaking to her.

I was attending Junior High at the time and walked a few blocks from the bus stop each day to the school. One day, I was walking back from school to the bus stop and I spotted my grandmother in the crowd. I really wasn't sure at first because it had been such a long time since I had seen her, but yes, it was her. Well, I spitefully walked passed her and acted as if I didn't see her.

I kept walking to the bus stop and in the crowd was this man. Suddenly, even though at this point it was push and shove, I was captivated by this man's eyes. He was very ordinary looking and I believe he had on some sort of hat. Kinda rugged looking--but those eyes. They seemed to pierce right through me! I knew that he knew what had just transpired between my grandmother and me. Somehow, I knew that my grandmother had recognized me and she also knew I was snubbing her.

As I stared into this man's eyes I felt conviction for what I had done. Maybe not so much sorry at the time, but a strong realization that what I was doing wasn't right and that I had wounded my grandmother. This man did not appear to be judging me as much as knowing me.

The look between us seemed to last forever, but suddenly I knew what I had to do. I turned around immediately and apologized (I lied, of course, and told her I wasn't sure it was her and, of course, she never let on). We hugged and said we loved one another which was the truth!

I tell you, the impact this man eyes had on me was profound! As I left my grandmother I noticed an elderly man attempting to cross the street corner. I was compelled to help him cross the street--whether he needed my help or not!

Whew! I can still see those eyes!